I want a new car

I been in the market for a car for a little while and i have come to the realization that i would like a new one. Like brand new, not brand newish like really new. I don't really liked used cars anymore. Way too much work. Tryna maintain it when you dont know whats wrong with it. I am tired of ending up with other peoples problems. Let's be real.. the only reason that you dont keep a car tiill it dies is a) it costs to much or b) its got issues you cant fix. I know, I know once i drive it its now considered used, but i wanna be the one putting the miles on it instead of getting it from someone else all fucked up from they craziness. 

I hate shopping for cars though because there are so many options its hard to pick the one that will work for you and half the time you get it home and realize the fit aint right or there is some small problem you didnt notice but each and every day it ill piss you off more until you want to just trade it in.

kinda like life

I blame Clinton.

Thats right, I said it, It is all Bill Clintons fault. 

I know, I know, he left the government with a surplus and the economy on the rise but trust me its all  his fault.

He wasnt the president the 8 years that the economy declined, or when planes hit buildings, or when we warred our way to a gigantic deficit. 

But he got his dick sucked.

That single act of desperation sent america into its downward spiral.

How, you may ask... WELLLLL if he didnt get the presidential knob slobbed, Al Gore would have had the table set to become president with nothing for americans to complain about firstly. That would have totally avoided the whole bush thing. His inability to pass up  a little noggin bobbin' went on to set the stage for a close election, a more conservative america, and eventually corporate irresponsibility. At least thats what my republican associates tell me. They told me if it wasnt for him taking a lewinsky break he could have stopped september 11th, which was the catalyst for this whole financial crisis, since with out that Bush wouldnt have had to start a war on terror and attack Iraq.

So shame on you President Clinton. You didnt just bust one on her dress you busted one on America.

...this is purely satire....