the life of a BIG black ninja

Pushin' it

2009-03-19T00:30:00.002-05:00

Im feeling kind of stagnant and there is only one thing to do when you feel that way.

Change everything.

Might take a mini leave of absence from my normal activities so that i can reset and just do other stuff for a little while, completely change up the style of my photos, or just not talk to anyone for a few days. Something to get me into a new mode, a new vibe, something i can bring to the people i'm close to.

So im gonna push the boundaries and push out of the little boredom/doldrums that i am in.

I have a few good things coming my way right now and a few ideas im about to start in motion so im feeling extremely positive about the future. And every day im trying to push closer to that positive and push out the negative that keeps me from realizing my potential. Parts of my self like my laziness and inability to write down gals, while i sit and tell people how to do it for hemselves and boost others up i have been neglecting myself and falling behind. So im pushing that to the side to put myslf where i need to be, so instead of pushing people up i can pull them up with me if i want them on top.

is kanye the new generations Michael Jackson

2009-03-03T08:56:00.003-06:00

I know all my friends who are super in love with MJ will probably think this is blasphemy but hear me out before you try to kill me jb and d ro.

The reason i pose this question isn't because they both have crazy concert with wild performances, ye has a long way to go to catch mj, i mean he aint jamming in Bucharest, and i have yet to see anyone fall out hen yeezy walked into a room, unless they had a camera and he was yanking it from their hands.

But what im saying is he is a person we have watched grow into a super crazy celebrity, and he is seemingly falling aart in front of our eyes. I mean he hasn't shaved his nose of to the point that he looked like a scary ass cartoon character. He also hasn't caught some disease that morphed him into a middle aged white woman.

But what he has done is made a prolific and very personal album that most people hated, while he was at his most vulnerable. Full of off pitched singing auto tuned into bearability, then he tried to perform it, like he didn't know he couldn't. Now he is just starting to look way too sensitive and i just don't know what's next he is stealing Michael's dance moves

He has some kinda crazy negro mullet shag thing going on.

Im just not ready to see a light skin noseless version of mr west.

a blog non analogous

2009-02-12T03:21:00.002-06:00

I typically write about one thing, thinking about something else.

But right now all i can think about is cookies.

The soft ones with the frosting.

With those little sprinkles.

I love them.

I have them with in arms reach.

Rather than get them, I decided i would be better off just thinking about them.

How much I want them.

How sweet it would be.

Because i know this is the wrong time to consume them.

In the end i am better off with out the cookies.

But I still love them.

i heard 'em say

2009-02-07T20:08:00.001-06:00

If you can't change your surroundings, change your surroundings.

Be it people, your environment, living situation, life...

So in that vain maybe i should stop trying to influence the people around me. Maybe i should give up on bringing people into a different experience or informing them that people with different opinions, and life experience can also be correct, since truth is mostly a matter of opinions based on life experience and perceptions. Even science acknowledges that, only math has laws that stay the same for extended periods.

So since i cant shift the things around me, why not move. Why not move on, reset, find like minded individuals who like to do what i like to do?

cause im a dumb ass and i think u can change anything if u decide its important

get on or get out the way

2009-02-01T01:39:00.002-06:00

Right now i feel like my life is analogous to merging into the highway. I know where im tryna go. I just dont know where all the people around me are headed, or if they are even paying attention and see me.

I can either slow down and make sure they know where I'm going, or I can speed up and hope I dont crash. I am usually the cautious type. Lately though, I have been far more reckless. Merging blindly and holding the accelerator. Making up for lost time i spent waiting for my chance to merge.

But right now, at this moment, its 5:15pm and i am getting on 635 in Dallas. Traffic is fucked up. No ones looking over, and if they do they speeding up to make sure they are ahead of me. And im not even sure i am going in the right direction. Seems like the faster i go the further i get from my destination, but if i wait i won't get there any sooner. Maybe i should switch directions or take the side road, avoid all the traffic and find a new way to the place i want to be?

It's either that or press the gas raise the finger between my index and ring, and cause a wreck.

changes

2009-01-26T08:47:00.002-06:00

Change...

It's not just for the white house anymore.

It seems change is my new frienemy. It constantly works its way back into my life no matter how many times I push it away or it pushes me away. No matter how sick of each other we get, i can always count on change, even if its different every-time we meet.

Sometimes she I so sweet and other days she is a bitter bitch, getting back at me for all the past rejections she suffered. But I take her back every time cause i have no choice, she is change, she always gets her way.

Right now I'm just working on ways to influence her. Get her to see things my way. Maybe set up a orgy with her home girls Fate and Success. But for now i'll just wait for her to decide what is next.

-c

dont drink and type

2008-12-21T03:53:00.004-06:00

It has been a while since i was inclined to speak to the viewers of this blog, but i feel that i have come to a point t hat i have to. Solely for the purpose of extending this sage advice to you, dont drink and type.

Be it text, im, blog myspace message, mavis beacon teaches typing program.. whatever, just dont do it. its bad. The main reason its bad is because you dont know what the hell is going to come out next, i mean you are inebriated. Another reason is you wil say exactly what you are thinking even if its something you not supposed to say. But the most important reason is, there is evidence lol, written evidence of you saying some old super drunky shit, you dont wanna be the text version of dude from entertainment tonight or dill o reily and end up with your bizness in the streets. After all what you do with loofas is your own business, even if you are a self righteous right wing conservative. Back to the point though... just dont do it its a trap...

just a drunk nigga psa

2008-12-21T03:53:00.001-06:00

2008-12-21T03:53:00.000-06:00

The Choice

2008-11-09T04:29:00.002-06:00

Once in awhile people are faced with a choice, to stand up and demand change or to continue to accept the current status quo of mediocrity and underachieving. At these times yo can go toward hope or cling to the lifestyle you are used to for fear of change. Some have enough courage to accept that life needs change to continue to progress, and sometimes that includes creative destruction. When faced with this choice some sit idly by and let their voice go unheard and hope everyone else makes the right choice for them, some push against change, and some push for improvement. Unfortunately for those who wish to continue to let things go in the downward spiral change will always occur. Ready or not. Change is here. For America, and for me.

I have decided that since the country can change so can I. I can speak out on issues i see. I can decide to not settle for inadequate relationships, friendships, and coworkers. I can have what ever i see fit if i work for it. I can demand better from those i allow to be in my life. And i can accept if they are not ready to improve themselves and their situations and would prefer to not be in my life...

All that to say i made a choice, to not accept the minimum effort i can get the maximum.

damn it

2008-11-08T01:34:00.003-06:00

I really dont have very many peeves. Not much gets under my skin. But today, TODAY, I have experienced the three things i hate most lies, selfishness, and obliviousness.

I know its kinda dumb to let something affect me enough to write about it for the public, but its like shit... i need a release.

It's not that hard to say i can't make it. Honestly i have told people i cant make it to photoshoots, at my own damn house, on numerous occasions. So I for one know its pretty simple to say naw dawg i cant even do it. Even if i realllly wanted to do something i can take a no better than a no answer.

I am a fairly considerate fellow. I do alot for alot of people with out ever asking for anything in return above a thank you. But when i go way above what i should or anyone else would do in order to help some one id atleast like a simple form of appreciation. Also, not to be all womany and think people can think my thoughts, but it does seem atleast a tad bit common sense to order someone some food if they are paying for your food. I kinda tend to do stuff for people with out them ever even asking but for some reason that favor is never returned, and sometimes im asked to go far out of my way for no reason at all but it was someones whim.... and that brings me to the last peeve

How can you not even notice when you just asked someone to do something stupid and wasteful, and then keep asking them why they look mad. Or keep on asking them to do things that are senseless while they sit there looking thru you .

damn it

thanks billy

2008-11-08T01:29:00.004-06:00

If it werent for u the dominoes wouldnt have fallen in the right order to get obama elected, maybe 8 years of bush was worth it. Barely.
One think i am not digging about Obama's big win is the instant perception that racism is over by mainstream media. While if u listen to a conservative talk radio show, or even a 4th grader at luther elementary you will know that not only is racism still alive and kicking, it wears skechers. The wrong wing political pundits and talk show hosts have taken this election as their calling to be even more divisive and even more angry if that is at al lpossible, eventhough they didnt support McCain in the primaries, somehow they thought he was the man(with Sarah "he pals around with terrorist" Palin) to lead this country.

any way i just wanted to say Monica, GREA.T JOB... No other woman has sucked a dick so well it could get us a bi racial president

I want a new car

2008-10-27T19:21:00.003-05:00

I been in the market for a car for a little while and i have come to the realization that i would like a new one. Like brand new, not brand newish like really new. I don't really liked used cars anymore. Way too much work. Tryna maintain it when you dont know whats wrong with it. I am tired of ending up with other peoples problems. Let's be real.. the only reason that you dont keep a car tiill it dies is a) it costs to much or b) its got issues you cant fix. I know, I know once i drive it its now considered used, but i wanna be the one putting the miles on it instead of getting it from someone else all fucked up from they craziness.

I hate shopping for cars though because there are so many options its hard to pick the one that will work for you and half the time you get it home and realize the fit aint right or there is some small problem you didnt notice but each and every day it ill piss you off more until you want to just trade it in.

kinda like life

I blame Clinton.

2008-10-07T22:21:00.002-05:00

Thats right, I said it, It is all Bill Clintons fault.

I know, I know, he left the government with a surplus and the economy on the rise but trust me its all his fault.

He wasnt the president the 8 years that the economy declined, or when planes hit buildings, or when we warred our way to a gigantic deficit.

But he got his dick sucked.

That single act of desperation sent america into its downward spiral.

How, you may ask... WELLLLL if he didnt get the presidential knob slobbed, Al Gore would have had the table set to become president with nothing for americans to complain about firstly. That would have totally avoided the whole bush thing. His inability to pass up a little noggin bobbin' went on to set the stage for a close election, a more conservative america, and eventually corporate irresponsibility. At least thats what my republican associates tell me. They told me if it wasnt for him taking a lewinsky break he could have stopped september 11th, which was the catalyst for this whole financial crisis, since with out that Bush wouldnt have had to start a war on terror and attack Iraq.

So shame on you President Clinton. You didnt just bust one on her dress you busted one on America.

...this is purely satire....

first impression

2008-09-14T15:53:00.001-05:00

some things are exactly as thy seem

We tend to see something and say it could be more, it could grow, there is a potential for greatness in that. But for the most part, what you see is what you get, everything does eventually evolve and grow, but short term same is same.

Like they say you can put lip stick on a pig, you can shine shit, either way its still what it was. And people tend to be who they are even if you think they are maturing and growing and flowing toward that potential you saw while looking past the crusty exterior, the inside is the same. A lazy mans a lazy man a shy mans a shy man a dogs a dog the same for women and in the end if your first sign says stay way do like diddy and take that take that.

i got the shit off my shoe today

2008-09-12T19:37:00.001-05:00

yeah it took awhile, kinda got accustomed to it, but its for the best.

You know whats funny about republicans

2008-09-12T13:36:00.002-05:00

They want smaller government... which in itself sounds good, but they want higher wages for politicians, with less money to fund thm, and they want to govern what you do in your personal life (no gays, abortions, or nonaxed drugs)

hell its funny to me

i gotta gotta go

2008-08-25T12:19:00.002-05:00

I kinda like it here, im pretty comfortable. Hell i have been here most of my life. Really all of my life. No matter how much i like it though, i have got to go. Its an impossible place. full of people like me, under motivated under achievers with loads of talent, but most of them think they cant make it here. They may be right, i mean they cant make it here because they dont think they can so they dont try, but with so many people with that feeling it sucks the life out of you.

I think i am fairly good at taking pictures and making people look good but i can barely find anyone to shoot that i want to shoot, they always seem to be bored but have to much to do. Then there are the ones who ask to set up shoots all the time then cancel the day of, some of whom i really could take or leave but i let them get away with it because i dont have anyone else showing up. So maybe it is time to go to hell, maybe i do need to go to dallas. Seems to be alot more people atleast trying to do something.

You ever stepped in dog shit?

2008-08-19T00:25:00.003-05:00

I did not to long ago, it was a horrible experience. I saw the heaping pile of butt mud and did my best to step past it, but somehow I just ended up stepping in a even larger mountain of manure. It was such a mesmerizing mound I was unable to think of what i should do next. I couldnt pull my foot out directly, i had to try to ease it out. That plan didnt work though, so i tried to take my shoe off and just leave it in the shit, but when i did it just got on my sock, and a lil on my jeans. And i am still trying to find my way out of the shit to this day.

The moral of this story is if you see shit, walk the other way.

damn it

2008-08-17T23:08:00.003-05:00

All this time, all these years wasted.

Fuck!!!!!!

I thought i knew what i wanted. I was pursuing it.

Now, it seems, it was all wrong. I really can't have one with out the other.

I should probably tell you what im talking about, huh? Well, im talking bout fame and fortune. They can be acquired on a mutually exclusive basis in some fields, and not in others. I am sure it would be possible for me to be rich and not be famous with what i do... but it seems like its going to be alot harder. Plus, I just realized popularity aint so bad. It feels good when people recognize you and say good things about you, The good is better than the bad, like the people saying negative shit about you when they have never met you lol (kinda like when i shoot some one for the first time last week and they say one of their friends, whom i didnt even know, said they shot with me and i had a crew of dudes at my house chilling watching, which is 100% bullshit cause i only have 3 male friends lol). But spending a little time in the real world recently, i noticed, money comes alot faster from people who know you, which i knew but never really experienced in a great quantity.

Anyways so i guess i gotta get famous, or at least more popular... guess ill be leaking that sex tape soon....

break up to make up

2008-08-05T03:07:00.003-05:00

Have you ever been dumped? Like one of those this hurts me as much as it hurts you kind of break ups. You spend a few weeks trying to figure out what you are going to do with your life with out that special someone? Then ou get it together,and get everything headed in the right direction, you even find someone that you think can fill their position well and then they call you. They want to be back with you, they made the wrong decision but they didnt know it until you decided everything will be ok with out them.

This didnt happen to me but its happening to the Green Bay Packers as we speak, guess we will see how it plays out.

on a side not im over jay-z
i can take any more poorly crafted word play from the self proclaimed then co signed best rapper.
The remix verses to "a mill"i and "put on" just grind my gears they are the icing on my hate cake that was baked by kingdom come.

i figured it all out

2008-08-05T02:59:00.002-05:00

I finally figured out the problem that plagued all mankind since adam ate eves apple. Thats right i have solved the unsolvable.

Women are crazy.
Men aint shit.

Its pretty simple. All women are crazy and all men are worthless bastards.
This isnt just generalities this is proven fact from many conversations with members of both sexes and years of research. It all boils down to the simple fact that its not a matter of finding someone who is compatible with your likes and lifestyle, its just that everyone of the opposite and same sex are unworthy and unfit to be with you.

B.A.N.

2008-07-24T04:10:00.002-05:00

Bitch!

Damn, what a release. Feels freaking great.

Sometimes i just want to say bitch, sometimes i want to say it around women. Not to women, like in a derogatory way but just like you know, bitch. Kinda like how white guys feels about saying nigga, you can see they want to say it, not even in a mean way, they just hear how we say it and want to jump in.

I just love the power of bitch. I mean its pretty vile sounding but its strong as hell. It is so strong only women, gay people, and rappers can say it around women with out getting cussed out. Even if you were just saying it undirected. Like the only time you can say it is if you use it in conjunction with aint that a, assness, or ass nigga. Thats how tough bitch is. I accidently said bitch around this girl and i had to say, no no no its ok i am a rapper, just to stop her from calling me all types of mothafuckas.

but in the tradition of the long time rap legend, whats my favorite word.

BITCH.

why they gotta say it like chris

back to school time

2008-07-15T20:57:00.002-05:00

i apologize

2008-07-12T04:09:00.004-05:00

To preface this blog, I have noticed some things ging on in the word that i feel like i should personally apologize for even if its nothing that i am responsible for.

I am soooo sorry about the state of hip hop, strike that, main stream black music in general. I apologize for how diluted it has gotten and for everything sounding like a remix of the one original song made per year. And moreso i apologize for liking "put on" by young jeezy ft KanYe West. I am sooo sorry

I apology for this new craze of young black males preferring to dance with or for each other at the club instead of with the yound attractive women. I do understand it has been going on since the late 90s 8th grade grooving days, but the new style is mo homo. I mean there are now songs that specifically intend for groups of men to gather around each other and dance, not brake dance, but some form of feminine primping and cleaning them selves for each other. I am sorry that their "dougie" is so gay when they are wiping them selves down. I apologize for all of the songs that make guys do the homey (boondocks season two return of ganstalicious.) I am soooo sorry.

I am so sorry that the main reason i leave the house is to get something more interesting than my self to blog about. I mean i probably would only leave the house to shop if i didnt feel the need to keep writing stuff that no one reads.As a matter of fact im sorry for self indulgent people who think that their opinion or thoughts are so important they need some type of online publishing of these thoughts and ideas and opinions. Seriously i am apologizing for ever startin this, half the time ME, MYSELF, and I are the only three people who even care about what i am writing and sometimes i dont think me really cares. Either way i do apologize, and i am so sorry.

I apologize for underground haters, i also apologize for people who rightfully dislike what you are doing because it is subpar. I really apologize for your inability to discriminate between the two. I understand confidence and the like, but really, you know you aint THAT damn good. Some one may actually just not like you. This is a honest possibility. The thing i really apologize for are the top secret agent haters, who acknowledge your ability but say things to try to downgrade your accomplishments because they cant do it, and the ones who dislike the fact you are living how you want to while they have to spend 8 hours a day doing shit they hate then dont have time to hone their respective crafts. i am so sorry.

There are many more things i need to apologizes for but its 4am and i have to go out of town in the am. So im sorry i have to cut this off.