I blame Clinton.

Thats right, I said it, It is all Bill Clintons fault. 

I know, I know, he left the government with a surplus and the economy on the rise but trust me its all  his fault.

He wasnt the president the 8 years that the economy declined, or when planes hit buildings, or when we warred our way to a gigantic deficit. 

But he got his dick sucked.

That single act of desperation sent america into its downward spiral.

How, you may ask... WELLLLL if he didnt get the presidential knob slobbed, Al Gore would have had the table set to become president with nothing for americans to complain about firstly. That would have totally avoided the whole bush thing. His inability to pass up  a little noggin bobbin' went on to set the stage for a close election, a more conservative america, and eventually corporate irresponsibility. At least thats what my republican associates tell me. They told me if it wasnt for him taking a lewinsky break he could have stopped september 11th, which was the catalyst for this whole financial crisis, since with out that Bush wouldnt have had to start a war on terror and attack Iraq.

So shame on you President Clinton. You didnt just bust one on her dress you busted one on America.

...this is purely satire....