i am not an artist.

Ever since i was a little kid i wanted to be an artist. A painter, sculptor, photographer, poet, singer... anything that would allow me to express myself. But now? Fuck that! I want to be who i am when i am who i am but i dont want to put myself out there for the world to review. Because indeed, everyone is a critique. But sometimes people dont even have enough courtesy to view or listen before they judge.

Why would i want to be an artist, and allow people to pass judgment on me based on something i created from a thought? Why would i want to put myself and my thoughts on display for everyone to see or read and comment on as they feel? Who would want people they dont know to know what they think? Why would one open themselves to a deep personal rejection such as that? I barely like approaching omen for fear of rejection, how can i approach customers, clients, fans, and art lovers with the possibility of rejection?

That is why i hide behind technique, and try to be masterful in all i do on a technical level, so no one thinks they can tell what i think. And that is why i am not an artist.