nothing changed

Today was a waste, but nothing has changed. I tried so hard to get off to a good start woke up early brushed teeth, washed ass, worked out a touch. Then i proceeded to go back to bed. I couldn't think of anything i wanted to do at the time so i did nothing. That last sentence is a summary of my life sometimes, unless i become inspired by something or someone, but the times with no inspiration... or when i am on hold or being less than attended to i can fall into a phase of do nothing. I know its bad, and it doesn't make anything better cause if you do nothing you get nothing  done and all that hub bub, but when you get the ball rolling in the wrong direction it tends to stay rolling that way. Gravity and inertia are a bitch. I should harbor some of my kinetic energy of the mind and make many things happen with the few talents and little good sense i have.  My mind is too bogged down though, i feel like i have to much to do for others to do for me and so i get sick of not being able to do anything for me and decide to do nothing. PERIOD. that is the real deeper issue, but im too unselfish to allow myself to be selfish enough to make myself better. Makes a lot of sense right? I feel like I am trapped but at the same time i don't want to go anywhere because i don't want to lose the little that i have. But if nothing is ventured nothing is gained, yeah its super cliche but true fucking critiques. I just want to do better, and know i can because my talent is unlimited except by me and finances and my mind is ... well only limited by my lack of short term memory, and i dont even smoke weed whats up with that? I had to vent

but nothing changed